1.
What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant
2.
Why doesn't Jesus eat M and M's? Cos they fall through his hands.
3.
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? You don't, you've told her twice already!
4.
ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.
5.
For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.